First of all, I have decided that I have to name all the
people that I talk about here. If I keep saying “that one friend” it is going
to get confusing quickly. I will of course be inventing names, but they shall
have names just the same. It will be easier for us all to keep track of what’s
going on.
My previous post was about my friend Walter. Things were a
little rocky between us for a while, then I had the very low day where I posted
here and the next day… He totally chewed me out. I deserved it and every word
he said to me was true. He did not put it so bluntly, but I was being selfish
and trying to manipulate him to what suited me. He wasn’t going for it. It was
actually quite refreshing to hear him talk to me like that. I rarely get any
show of emotion out of him, and it is even more rarely anger. I mentioned that
to him and we both laughed about it. We had a very long talk about the
differences in our personalities and came to an understanding of sorts. I agree
not to continually pester him if he agrees to give me a straight yes or no
answer when I ask to see him. The normal protocol has been for him to sidestep
my question or to ignore it completely. The only thing I hate more than a no
answer is being ignored altogether. At least if I get a no, even if I don’t
like it, I can deal with it and move on.
One thing I managed to get from Walter is that he hates
having to tell me no all the time to hanging out. He’s never said anything like
that to me before. He’s always seemed so indifferent as to whether I’m a part
of his life or not. As to why he tells me no… I know why, but for your benefit I’ll
elaborate.
While not the most introverted person I’ve ever met, Walter
is probably the most introverted person I’ve ever known personally. When he has
troubles, or down days, he wants to sit at home and think it over. Occasionally
his friends can get him out to a bar to drown his sorrows, but I’m not at all
the person that enjoys going to bars anyway. When I have troubles I run to him
or some other friend to talk things over. I need people to be comforted (even
as introverted as I can be). Walter also works 50 hrs and six days a week. It
is a tiring schedule. I would hate having to work that schedule. And, oh yeah,
he has a girlfriend.
As you can see, between all the aloneness he wants, the rest
he needs, and the time with his girlfriend or family desires, I fall pretty low
on the priority list. It is all understandable, but no less frustrating. A
couple weeks ago I went to see him at the retail establishment where he works
because I missed him so much. I got to spend a combined total of 10 minutes
with him, but when I left I felt better. I hope it made his day a little better,
too. It was good to see him smile.
Anyway, I still don’t hear from Walter as often as I would
like, but I think we are aggravating each other a whole lot less. Moving forward
is always the best way to go. Now that I’ve written all this down, I’m feeling
sentimental. I think I’ll go remind my little boy how much I love him. Maybe
next time I’ll share about my adventures in parenthood! Stay tuned.
